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Amalgam (free verse)

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Школа кожевенного мастерства: сумки, ремни своими руками
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  • Аннотация:
    Цикл верлибров на английском языке.



 
 STRANGER

 "Who are you?" 
 I asked the stranger 
 in the dark of the mirror.
 And he answered:
 "White loneliness 
 in the black separation 
 with Self". 


 ESCAPE

 the flocks of snow-white birds 
 are tearing away across the sky of hope
 and their tired shadows 
 are rushing along 
 upon the salty waves - 
 away - away - away
 from the blood-red sunset 
 and the approaching storm:
 both birds and shadows 
 want to break through
 the time and space
 for not to disappear 
 in the dead night"s apocalyptic hush
 soon after


 BRAHMA

 Have you ever been a nobody? 
 Have you ever been with no one?
 Have you ever been to nowhere?
 Have you ever had nothing?
 Some day you will 
 "Cause I was
 Nothing but the total loneliness
 In the very beginning 
 Of my creation


 THE TOCSIN

 I heard 
 deep thunderous blows of the troubled tom bell, 
 breaking down the silence 
 in the dead of the night.
 I did not know for whom the bell tolled,
 but the sound meant a definite sign.
 And then 
 I saw the light 
 with near-sighted eyes of my open mind
 and realized 
 the tocsin was tolling deep inside,
 it was the sound 
 of my anxious heart
 that was desperately trying 
 to wake my sleeping soul
 up


 THE WRONG DESTINATION

 If you came to this place
 in search of yourself
 you have obviously 
 confused the address
 "cause your soul belongs
 to another world


 IN YOUR EYES

 Watching the world 
 outside my window
 I reach the conclusion:
 it is unreal.

 Watching the world 
 inside my door 
 I understand: 
 it"s a kind of fiction. 

 But when I gaze 
 into your angel eyes 
 I realize а simple thing:
 this is the only real place 
 where I can see 
 the evident truth
 and find long-desired 
 peace of my mind.


 LOSING MY FAITH

 poor relief 
 hard to believe

 losing my face 
 losing my faith

 there"s no hope 
 in my empty heart

 the door is closed
 the windows are dark 

 that has been 
 nobody"s land, my dear
 nobody"s heart ever since


 А HUMAN

 The woman 
 is also a human
 although she comes
 from another 
 Planet


 THE WOMEN I LOVED

 The women whom I loved 
 and who loved me - 
 they all now hate me 
 all of them
 though many years have passed.
 I know the reason
 why it"s happened.
 They gave me once
 the most precious thing 
 they"d ever had: 
 they gave me bliss of their love. 
 And so did I.
 They loved and also
 they were loved.
 And I am grateful. But they hate. 
 For them all gone now. 
 But not for me.
 And they are sorry:
 they can"t get back all that
 they gave me once
 because my heart possesses it. 
 But they"re not able 
 to possess me any more.
 I didn"t used to love
 but I"m still loving. 
 I"ll always be...


 VICE VERSA

 If once I fell down
 from this fucking skyscraper 
 to become a human
 then probably
 I could make a kind of reverse?
 I would fall down 
 from it again 
 to become an angel!
 This place is 
 a lonely desert without her.
 And there is no need 
 in this body any more, 

 He thought
 sitting on the roof 
 of the forty-fourth floor.


 * vice versa (latin) - backward, reverse


 IF MIND IS SILENT

 The truth comes into the mind
 which is silent and peaceful.


 JUST TRY AND STOP IT!

 Just try to stop the minute hand 
 of the grandfather"s clock with your will 
 or the second hand 
 on your new shining Rolex. 
 Can"t you believe it? It doesn"t work!
 Yes, buddy: it surely doesn"t. 
 A stupid thing, a hopeless thing, my friend!
 Again fiasco, ah?.. 
 Similarly, you cannot stop 
 increasing wrinkles around your eyes 
 and early hoar-frost on your temples.
 Hey, look: even your beard 
 is getting black-and-white! 
 Similarly, you cannot stop 
 the fleeting moments of the summer
 which you have waited for so long - 
 such a transient summer of your life. 
 And now
 the early fall is waiting for you 
 in the garden of dreams
 of the vernal bloom.
 Similarly, you cannot stop the passenger train
 or at least change its speed - 
 the train that"s carrying you 
 to some kind of nowhere: 
 is it the stop of arrival 
 or maybe the place of your destination? 
 It"s death, my friend - 
 the inevitable end of all your fucking expectations. 
 Just go and get it - 
 the sooner the better!
 And have fun again: that"s only the beginning
 of a new galanty show.


 WHAT"S OUR LIFE?

 Switch on the light!
 Switch off the light!
 One day of Brahma*...


 * 4320 million human years


 THE UNBIDDEN

 So sorry, guys: 
 I doubt I"ve met you before.
 You"ve sadly mistaken the door, 
 I answered 
 the envious thoughts - 
 and closed my heart very tightly.


 INNER AND OUTER

 If your outer space 
 gets smaller,

 being invaded,
 decreasing in size, 

 then your inner space 
 becomes larger.

 Otherwise, 
 it is doomed and dies*.


 * It means 
 that you have died
 but did"t notice.


 BUTTERFLIES IN THE SNOW

 two butterflies 
 frozen in the snow
 along the winter 
 of acute anxiety

 we are still here 
 waiting for the miracle 
 of spring awakening

 two wingless hearts"
 despairing survival


 DILEMMA

 Blessed with you 
 And cursed by you
 Dilemma...


 SEE YOU SOON

 Goodbye... 
 or farewell? 
 she asked me sadly 
 as she was leaving. 
 I"d rather say 
 "See you soon", 
 my answer was 
 to Mrs. Fortune.

 *

 The book of "Amalgam", 2009 - 2011

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