Second Chances
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Second Chances
Chapter One
I feel like I have been walking for hours when I finally find her.She is walking silently in the dark night through the cemetery.I stand back a few feet to watch her from a distance, not wanting to tip her off just yet that I am out there to keep an eye on her.Her golden blonde hair is blowing slightly in the breeze of the night and she looks just like the Buffy I have always known.But I know better right now.I know that this is not the same old B, something is different.
Then again, I am pretty different now a days too.Last time I was here in SunnyD, I was hell bent on destroyin' the lives of the people that I now consider my family.It took me a good few months in prison before I was able to really admit all the mistakes I had made.Before I was able to admit to myself what made me do all of those awful things in the first place.I think in a way I always knew... since that moment I first saw her all those years ago in that alley... and maybe even before that, that I was in love with her.Everything I did, both good and evil was all for her.So here I am, back in SunnyD just under two years after I was pretty much thrown out by the woman I was head over heels in love with.It took one moment to change the course of the rest of my life.One visit in prison, and two words.Buffy's dead.
G came to deliver the news to me.I had been in prison for a little over a year when he came.I had never expected to see him again, but I had thought a lot about what I would say to all of them, including B if I ever did get the chance.But I never got the chance to say them to her.When he told me that B had jumped to her own death to save her sister... to save the world... I could almost feel my heart breaking on the inside.There was nothing but emptiness and pain.Despite having not seen or heard from her the entire time I was gone, she was what had kept me going while I was there.She was my strength and the reason I had made it through each day. And then she was gone.I had always known she was a hero and the best slayer to ever live. But I never had imagined that she would ever be gone from this world. G wasted no time in getting to work and got me out of there, with a clean slate and record.Don't ask me how he did it, probably Red with all her magical abilities that I never really knew she had.Before you know it, I was back in the one town that I had only dreamt of returning to and the one person I wanted to see was buried in the ground.Sure, I was hesitant about coming back... I did try to kill all of the Scoobies at one point.Most of them were grateful I was there, protecting them from the things that go bump in the night.Bottom line is they knew that they needed a slayer in their town, and I was the only one left.D took a little time getting used to having me around again, but once she did, she was like attached at my hip.Every day she was just a constant reminder of the girl I loved and had lost.She looked more like B than I wanted her to and she acted the way I always remembered B to act.I guess I took comfort in having her around me, even if it did hurt my heart a little.I had promised myself before I left prison that if I ever got out of that place, I would do anything to prove to B how much I loved her.I would apologize the right way and I would do whatever it took to earn her trust.Now that she was gone, I figured the best thing I could do was take care of her sister... the way that B would have wanted.
So yeah, things became routine.I lived in the Summers house with Red and T and little D.I learned pretty quick that just because it was the four of us living at the house didn't mean that everyone else wasn't always there too.Long into the night G would stay and so would XMan and Anya.Sometimes they would crash on the couch but if they did go home, they were back at the house just as the sun came up every morning.I felt comfortable with them and they became my family, much like I had always wanted them to back in the day.I had been there for just about three months when G decided it was his time to leave.He explained it to me that he knew I was capable of taking care of them now and he went back to his homeland in England after a tearful goodbye.It was the first time I had cried in front of the Scoobs. I don't know what got into me, but seeing him leave made it feel so final with Buffy being gone and everything. The Scoobies didn't say a word about my tears. If they were surprised by it, they didn't show it, and they were nothing but supportive of how I felt about him leaving, mostly because they all felt the same way.
Now I have seen and done a lot of things in my short life, being a slayer and all.But I always thought that you got one life changing moment that would define you.All that flew out the window just 147 days after B had died.I know because I had counted.Every day was harder and harder.I thought that it would get easier day after day, but it didn't.My heart only hurt more.I hadn't told anyone how I felt about B and holding it all in was killing me. So you can imagine my surprise and complete shock when I first saw B standing there in front of me on that tower she had jumped to her death from.At first I didn't believe it was her.I was sure that this was just a cruel joke that my mind was playing on me or that damn BuffyBot trying to destroy me.But it was no joke.B was alive and she was standing there in front of me.It took some coaxing to get her down off that tower and home again... and I have no idea how I did it, but once I did, I found out just how it was even possible that she was there.It was Red.It wasn't but a few weeks after I had gotten back that I realized just how powerful she really had become. Her and the rest of them came running in just after I got B cleaned up and explained that Red had performed a spell to pull B out the hell dimension she had been trapped in.Now, if I were less muscle more research, I would have understood a little more about what she said, but since I really am nothing more than the fighter of the family, I only caught about half of what she told me.Point is, B's back and so is that complete overpowering need to love her. Dawn had about flipped when she saw her.She didn't really believe it was Buffy and the way Buffy acted didn't help matters.Dawn was relieved to see her sister alive again, but she still stuck close by me. And we had placed a call to G, explaining what the gang had accomplished, and after the hundreds of `Dear Lords' he mumbled, he informed us he would make a return to Sunnydale as soon as possible.No one was sure quite when that would be, but to be honest, I really wished it would be sooner rather than later.I felt in over my head at this point and my feelings for the Chosen One were getting harder and harder to handle.
It's been two days since she's been back.She's been acting totally weird since then but I know she's still just as strong as she used to be because we had to deal with a demon that the gang created when they pulled her out the hell dimension.We managed to defeat it, me and B, together.It was like old times... except not at all... less trying to kill her on my part and less punching me in the face on hers.I felt like she was the same slayer, but a different girl.I am still over the moon in love with her, but something is completely off about her.I know that she is still trying to adjust to being alive again, but I guess I just expected her to be the strong Buffy that I knew before.
So like I said, I am standing at the gate to the cemetery, and I am watching her as she is walking through it in the dark silent night.I don't want her to know that I'm keeping tabs on her, but I was concerned when she decided she should go off and patrol on her own.I figured it would be safer for me to follow her and let her know I was there eventually, than let her out on her own just two days after she came back from the grave.I stay still as I see her perch on a headstone in the middle of the cemetery and drop her head down.Felt like the right time to let her know I was there.As I approached her, she looked deep in thought.What I would give to know what she was thinking.
"Hey there B...patrolling a little?"I casually walked up and stood in front of her.Buffy's eyes never left the ground beneath her and she didn't even flinch when I spoke, almost like she knew I was there all along.I crouched down so I could look up at her face."B?You okay?"
"I'm so sick of people asking me if I am okay," Buffy said with barely any emotion in her voice.She didn't sound angry or irritated or even sad.There was nothing but words...empty words.
"Sorry B, but that's all everyone wants...for you tell them that you are gonna be okay, even if you aren't right now."It was the truth.I have been a part of the gang now for four months and I know them better than I ever thought I could.All they ever wanted was the best for B.A part of me was worried that now that B was back, that I would be pushed out again, left behind and I wasn't sure I was strong enough to deal with that again.But so far, it had only been two days I know, but they were still looking to me and treating me like I was a part of the family.
"What if I'm not going to be okay Faith?"Buffy looked up at me when she asked the question and it jumped me from my inner monologue.I was a little bit in shock at the way she had responded to me.She hadn't been much for sharing her feelings since she had been back or saying much at all for that matter, and I was the last person I expected her to share with.We aren't really friends at this point.But we aren't really enemies either I don't think.
"Look B...I'm not gonna pretend I know what it's like to be trapped in a hell dimension...but I do know a thing or two about pain and torment," I said it with confidence.After all, I knew more about pain than I had ever admitted to anyone.I had spent years before being called as a slayer being beaten and abused by mom and the countless men that tried to be a father figure to me.I had fought the darkness inside of myself and found my own redemption for the awful things I had done to Buffy and the gang in the past.I had managed to apologize to all of them, and had that apology accepted.Well, all of them except B.I didn't think now was the time to bring that up just now.But the worst pain I had always carried was the pain of being in love with her.It was the pain that haunted my dreams...the pain that made my stomach turn...the pain that made me cry out in the middle of the night. I knew that the way I felt about B would never be reciprocated.It took me a long time to admit that I was in love with her and even longer to admit that the reason I had done those awful things was because Buffy did not love me the way I loved her, if she even loved me at all.
"I wasn't in pain there..." Buffy said quietly.The words brought me back to reality.If I didn't have slayer hearing the words would have been lost in the wind and never noticed.But I did, and my eyes immediately were fixed on hers once again.
"What do you mean you weren't in pain B?Cuz from what I understand about hell...it's full of pain."Silence filled the cemetery once more.I had the strongest urge to wrap Buffy into a hug.But I didn't move.I found myself holding my breath even as she spoke.I was internally hoping...praying even... that B would let me in.
"Wherever I was...there was no pain...it was perfect...never too hot...never too cold...time meant nothing there.I was free.I didn't have to fight or worry... I knew that everyone I loved was okay...that they were safe and I for the first time...in a long time...felt safe too.I knew that I had done my job...that I had done what I had to do and done it well...I don't know anything about religion or anything like that... but I know that I was happy where I was...I think...I think I was in Heaven."As she said the last word, I half expected for tears to come out of her eyes, but they never came.Instead, there was still a blank expression.No emotion at all.I couldn't move.I found myself unable to form words or even a thought as I did the best I could to process and take in all that Buffy had just admitted.I think I was still in shock when B stood and walked toward the exit, stopping just in front of the gate. "Promise me you won't say a word Faith.I don't want them to know."I took that breath of air I so desperately needed at that moment.
"I won't say anything B."With that, she walked out of the cemetery and out of my view.I stood still, feeling like all the air had been sucked from the world around me.She had been happy.I felt like my heart had been ripped out of me when she revealed that to me.To know that she had been happier dead didn't make me feel very good you know? It made realize just how hard B's life really had been when she was alive. I had lived it now for four months and I was finally able to understand. It was lonely. Despite all the people surrounding you... you still feel alone. It hurt me to know how different things could have been if I hadn't done all those awful things to her. But I had told myself before that if I had the chance to fix things between her and I, I would do whatever it took to get that done.This was my chance.
Chapter Two
It's pretty late when I stroll up to the house on Revello Drive, or it's really early, depending on how you look at it. Either way, I just got done with a basic patrol that had little action but still kept me out most of the night. I spent most of that time going over the words B said to me two nights ago in my mind. It was taking all the self control I had not to run at Red and yell at her for what she had done... what she didn't know she had done. But I promised I wouldn't say anything and if I understand this whole gaining trust thing, it usually means you keep your promises.
I open the door and shut it with my foot as I make my entrance. I hang my coat on the rack like everyone else does in this place and glance to the left and see the whole gang. For a brief second I realize how weird it is that I am not surprised they are all awake at this hour. It makes me smile to see them all together again like this with B there. Despite knowing how happy she was, it is hard for me not to be thankful she is back here with all of us.
"Hey Faith, you are just in time for our meeting," Xander says as I take a seat on the couch between Red and him. Only the Scoobies would have a meeting at five in the morning.
"Oh yeah, what's this little meeting all about? New big bad come to town?" Most of the group chuckles, except for B. She's been back 4 days now and she has barely said anything to anyone... with exception of that night in the cemetery to me. Most of the group is trying to keep it together, and they keep telling themselves that this is just her adjusting. Only I know the truth and man, it sucks being the only one with the information.
"Seems we need to discuss the living situation... with Buffy back... there isn't a lot of room to spare," Red starts to explain. I can't help myself, but I glare at her. I knew this was coming and I feel the anger start to build inside of me.
"Relax Faith, we aren't kicking you out," T explains to me before I really lose my cool. The tension in my face releases a little and Red continues.
"No no! We would never ask you to leave Faith. You are a part of the family now! We just need to figure out what we are going to do about the sleeping arrangements."
"I don't really mind the couch. It's better than the cots in prison," I say without thinking about the words. D looks at me with a sad smile. The others seem uncomfortable now. We don't really talk much about the past or what I did, other than when I apologized. Which means we usually don't talk about what it was like in prison either. B is the only one who doesn't make any sort of movement when I say the words. "Really you guys, it's no big deal. B is back and that is her room, so I will stay on the couch."
"You can share with me if you want," D offers and T looks over at me with a huge smile. While I love D like a little sister, I do need my space. I spent enough time sharing a room with another chick.
"Thanks for the offer Dawnie, but I think the couch is better for me. Coming in late and all, I don't want to keep you up," I say thinking it is a pretty good cover.
"Yeah, that and she can't bring home random people to sleep with either if she bunks with you," B says. Everyone just stares at her. First of all, that was a pretty bitchy comment, and second of all, that is the most she's said since she's been back and the first time she's even acted like the B I used to know.
"Jealous B?" I can't help it. Fighting with her is like a drug. No matter how long I've been sober, once I get just a little taste, I need more. Also, a part of me is taking this as a sign that maybe she is starting to adjust a little bit more... get back to her old self.
"Okay, let's stop now," Red says standing from her seat. Guess Red doesn't want me and B to be the way we used to be. "It's settled then. Faith you will stay on the couch and Buffy you are back in your room," she says. It doesn't even phase anyone that she is taking charge over B in B's own house. I guess she has been the one handling everything when B was gone so it's only right to assume she wouldn't give that role up too easily. Everyone nods their heads in agreement and as they start to get up and make their way to the kitchen for breakfast, the front door flies open.
"Giles? It's Giles!" D screams as she jumps up off the ground and is tackling him with a hug in a matter of seconds. He doesn't even have time to put his bag down before the rest of the group is on top of him too. He is hugging all of them now... all of them fighting back tears... and as they back away, B stands from the chair she was sitting in. G sets his bag down and inches closer to her... moving so slowly like he was afraid she would run.
"Dear Lord... Buffy... you're... you're alive," he says it as though he didn't really believe it when we called to tell him the news. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have believed it either. He holds his arms out as he gets closer to her and she moves toward him. They embrace in a huge hug and G starts sniffling and his eyes start to water. "Oh how I've missed you," he says. Like she was away at camp or something, but his emotion tells just how much he truly loves her. This is his daughter... blood kin be damned. Now I am expectin' her to start crying or something, you know... show that she has some hint of emotion left in her. But nothing happens. She stares at him with that same face she's had since she's been back and nods at him.
"I'm here," she says quietly. It is her way of not lying to him. She didn't miss this place... she was happy where she was, and this place is like hell on earth for her.
Several hours pass and B starts to act a little more normal the longer G is here. She even discussed with the group what she was going to do now that she was back... with her life that is, over breakfast. But despite the progress she made, she quickly goes up to her room as soon as the food is gone and quietly closes the door. D had to go to school and Xander and Anya left to go to work... Xander at the construction site and Anya at the Magic Box. That left just me, G and the witches in the kitchen. Tara was hard at work cleaning up the plates and cups and I was doing my best to help her... the cook shouldn't clean after all... while G drilled Red on what she had done to bring Buffy back.
"I cannot believe you would do something so stupid," he says, almost under his breath. Both T and I stop and look at him because we know that this is going to end in a fight.
"Stupid? Giles I did what I had to do to save Buffy! I did what no one else could do. I brought her back," she says with conviction.
"We still don't know where she was," Giles responds, taking the glasses off his face and starting to clean them like he only does when he's really annoyed or really frustrated.
"But we know where she is now. She's here and she's safe."
"She doesn't seem to be herself," G warns Red.
"She's adjusting... you remember what it was like when Angel came back... it takes time... we have no idea how long she was in that hell dimension, or what she went through. It could have been years and years of torture and pain," Red says and her voice cracks at the last bit. In that moment the anger I have for her diminishes a little bit. She really felt she was doing the best thing by bringing Buffy back. Never did it cross her mind that B was in a safe place. In Heaven.
"You should have told me," G starts but he is interrupted.
"You wouldn't have listened," Red retorts.
"You're right! I wouldn't have! What you did was against all the rules of magic and you abused it! You should know better and I thought you did! I thought I could trust you!" G raising his voice doesn't make me very happy. I don't think I have ever heard him shout like that. He has his glasses back on his face and is shouting the words which are echoing off the kitchen walls. Red is up out of the stool she was perched on and almost in his face. I put the plate down that I have been drying and move over toward G while Tara simultaneously moves toward her revved up girl.
"Don't tell me seeing her alive wasn't the happiest moment of your life! I did that Giles! I did it! And you are just upset because it wasn't you that figured it out! It was me!" With that last sentence she is running up the stairs and T is following close behind her. I hear the bedroom door they share slam from above me and turn to G who is now sitting on the same stool Red had been on.
"I'm sorry," he says calmly to me.
"Don't be, I get it G," I say leaning over the counter. I understand more than he knows.
"How are things getting along here? Now that Buffy has returned? Are the two of you getting along alright?" I don't know how to answer the question, so I side step it like I am so good at doing.
"We're five by five here G. How was England?"
"Good. It's a story for another time... There are other pressing matters I want to speak to you about. I assumed that with the abundance of people living or staying in this house that there wouldn't be much room for me and I booked myself a hotel. I have taken the liberty of arranging for an apartment for you as well. It is fully furnished and paid for a year," he explains to me.
"You didn't have to do that G, the couch is fine with me. We all just finished discussing it before you got here." Truth? I wasn't sure I wanted to move out. I didn't really want to sleep on the couch like a visitor, but if that was the only choice I had, it was better than not having them around anymore. I had just started to feel like a part of the family.
"Yes Faith, but you deserve better than the couch the rest of your life... and with Buffy alive... well... there are only so many rooms in the house... so please... take the apartment. I will take you later in the day if that is alright with you?" I know better than to disagree with him, especially after that huge fight he had with Red, so I just nod to agree with him. Having my own place will be nice I guess. I haven't had a lot of time to myself since I've been out. It will give me time to think about exactly what I need to do to help B.
That evening I am heading down the stairs with a small box that holds all my worldly possessions. I don't have much, but I have acquired a few things since I've been here. The whole gang is standing inside the front door and B is sitting on the steps looking out it. D is leaning up against the pillar on the porch and G is waiting for me in the car to take me to my new place. I pass B on the stairs and Red and T both hug me. I shake hands with Xander and Anya. There is a lot of sniffling going around from the witches and Xander looks like I just stole his G.I. Joe.
"You guys, it's just down the street. Besides, I am still going to be here every day like all of you losers," I say with a playfulness in my voice, directing the statement toward Xander and Anya in particular. They group laughs, except for B who is just staring at me, but trying to not show that she is. "See ya B," I say. She just nods her head at me and continues with her staring. I walk out the door and set the box I am holding down, approaching D. She looks upset and just as I get to her she turns and goes running past her sister and up the stairs. Her door slams with a huge bang and I can't help but laugh a little. "That's the same thing she did when I first got here," I remember out loud.
"Yeah, except this time she's angry you're leaving," T says quietly. B glances at T out of the corner of her eye but no one notices... except for me. I wonder what that was about.
"Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow morning for breakfast," I say as I head down the pathway to the car that G is waiting for me in. "Call me if you need anything and tell Dawnie the same for me," I say as I get in and close the door.
"Everything okay?" G asks.
"Just Dawnie was a little upset is all. Don't worry about it. Let's go."
G doesn't come inside with me. I don't have much to carry and he looks exhausted from the day so he just dropped me at the front. The apartment is huge. It's got a big kitchen... only a little smaller than the one at B's house. A good sized living room with a couch and comfortable chair and a nice flat screen T.V. Down the hall is a small bathroom that has the basic essentials and a wicked shower with tons of different shower heads and a bedroom that has a nice dresser and king sized bed. Everything smells new and fresh and I take some time to just wander around the place. I make my way to the kitchen and open the fridge. G even stocked it for me! I take out a can of soda and turn back to the box of my belongings I have set on the counter. I rummage through until I find what it is I'm looking for.
It's a picture. It isn't mine. It is the one thing I took from her room that didn't belong to me, but I had a good reason. When I first got there and that first night I stayed in the house... in B's room, I was overwhelmed by all the pictures she had up all over the place. Most of them were of her and the Scoobies... a couple of her and Joyce and Dawn. One of her and G taken at her prom. There were even a few of her and Angel from back in the day. I was looking at them all, hung on the wall and noticed that there was one picture hung behind one of her and the gang. I pushed the top picture to the side and to my surprise, below it was a picture of me and her. I don't know when it was taken, but neither of us must have known that it was. We aren't lookin' at the camera, but rather looking at each other as we sit in the library of the old high school. We both are smiling and she looks beautiful. Her hair is just a little passed her shoulders, the way I love it most and her eyes are that beautiful green they are when she is at her happiest. I spent a little over four months, the entire time I was in that house, carrying that picture with me. It was a little bit of hope for me. It reminded me of what I was doing there and ever since B had told me where she had been... it had been my inspiration to help her move forward.
So I took the picture. She probably will never even know it's gone. I had thought about why she kept the picture, but had never really been able to form a solid conclusion about it. I stared at the picture a little longer before putting it back in the box and heading toward the bedroom to lay down for a little while before patrol. As I opened the door, I noticed a figure in the room... perched on the window sill with the window open fully.
"B?... What are you doing here?"
Chapter Three
She doesn't move from the window.It is dark in the room and the only light is shining in through the window she had opened.There is a slight breeze and the curtains are blowing a bit at her sides.Her legs are dangling over the edge and aren't quite touching the floor in my room.Her face is calm... no tension whatsoever.Now me... I am a different story.I can immediately feel the beads of sweat forming on my forehead.My throat is dry and I can almost feel my heart beating out of my chest.She looks stunning in this moment.It is taking all my energy not to run over to that window and fuck her like she has never been fucked before.But somehow I keep my feet from moving and find my voice again.
"B?Is something wrong?"
"Everything is wrong F," she says calmly.I slowly inch my way over to the bed and sit down so I can face her not missing the fact that she used just the first letter of my name to address me.A part of me knows exactly what she is talking about and the other part of me is so out of touch with reality because she is actually here.
"Can I help?"I said it with as much sincerity as I could muster without sounding totally cheesy.She stands and makes her way over to the bed too, sitting on the other side about as far away from me as she could."I won't bite cha B," I say with a little chuckle, knowing how ironic it is for me to be saying such a thing to B... with her love for Soul Boy and all.
"Why?"
"Why what?Why won't I bite you?"
"Why do you want to help me?"It's a simple question really and I understand why she is asking it.The last time I saw her before she died didn't end really well for either of us.
"Do I have to have a reason?Can't I just be here wanting to help a friend?"I know it sounds like a stupid question coming from me and directed to her, but it wasn't really a lie.I do want to help her as a friend.A friend that I am totally head over heels in love with... but that is something I can't tell her... not now... maybe never.She doesn't respond to me and I take the pause as a chance to ask her again."Why are you here B?"
"I don't know," she says as she stands and moves back toward the window she came from."It's late, I should be getting back before they notice I'm gone," she finishes.
"You don't have to leave yet... you just got here," I say standing and moving toward her.I reach my hand out to grab her arm, forgetting that she a slayer for just a moment.Before I touch her, she manages to use that speed she has... always has been faster than me... and grab my wrist mid-air. My face tenses and she notices immediately and releases her grip on me just as quickly as she snatched it.
"I'm sorry," she says simply.
"It's fine B... no harm, no foul."We are standing close to each other now, almost to the window.She doesn't move toward it and I don't move either.She has her head hanging down... like she did that night in the cemetery.It brings me to action... I can't bear to see her like this.I make a bold move, at least what is considered bold between her and I, and use my hand to lift her chin so I can see her face.When we lock eyes, I can see something in them... for the first time since she has been back... I can see that there is something inside of her.I don't know what it is... and I bet she doesn't either.She doesn't say anything and I keep my mouth shut too... for a good long while.I just stare at her, her face lit up by the moon and push the sexual urges I am having down.It is getting harder and harder as the seconds tick by and just as I think I'm about to lose it, she says something.
"Thank you."I can tell she means it when she says it, but it still surprises me.
"For what?"
"Coming back... being here... staying here."As soon as the last word is out of her mouth, she turns and is out the window before I can even blink.I watch as she darts across the grass and out of sight.Like I said... she has always been faster than me.
It is a restless night.I can't get my mind off of B.Both in a sexual way... because my libido is way out of control from having her in my room and all and her scent is lingering around my bed where she was sitting... and because I am worried about her. I have thought about putting a call into Soul Boy... he knows she's back... Red called almost immediately after it happened... maybe he would know what to say to her... be able to help her.But I know that if I called he would tell me to handle it now.Despite how much he loves her... he knows that she would get attached to him and it would just be harder for her in the end.Probably for him too.I respect him for understanding that.It isn't easy to walk away from a girl like B... I know... because I've done it.
I'm up pretty early as a result of the events that unfolded that evening and I am at the house just as the sun is starting to rise.I walk in through the back door and the smell of pancakes and bacon fills the room.
"Mmmm... something smells good," I say walking in and shutting the door quietly.
"Good morning Faith," T says and turns her attention back to the stove where she is working on the last of the bacon."How was the apartment?"
"It's cool... where is B?"
"She's still asleep I think... do you want to go wake her and tell her it's almost time for breakfast?"
"Sure... what about the others?"Just as the words leave my mouth, XMan and Anya come walking in the front door, bickering like an old married couple and G is right behind them, clearly annoyed because he is already polishing his glasses.They calm down when they walk into the kitchen and I bump fists with Xander, give the others a small smile and head toward the stairs.As I make my way up them and go to round the corner to B's room, I practically run smack into D and Red, both of them with their noses stuffed in books.
"Whoa!No walking and reading! House rule," I say moving past them. They both give me a smile and don't say anything, heading down the stairs toward the kitchen and the meal that awaits us all.I get to B's door and knock quietly. I can already feel my muscles getting tense at the anticipation of seeing her again.
"Come in," she says.I turn the handle and open the door, entering and closing it behind me."Good morning," she says sleepily as she stretches.Her shirt raises a little when she does it and I have to shake my head from the sexual thoughts once again.
"B... we need to talk," I say before I can stop myself.She sits up in bed and puts her feet on the floor.
"About what?" I don't know what made me think this was a good time to bring this up... I have been thinking about it all night. I guess I just wanted to get it over with.
"Everything... what you told me... what's going on with you... you need to talk about it."
"Who should I talk to Faith?"
"To me... to anyone... I don't care... but I assume you haven't told anyone else what you told me so... I say let's talk about it so we can figure out what we can do to help you."I suck in a breath when I'm finished with the sentence.If I didn't know any better I would say Red had been giving me a good lesson in babble... but that last sentence was nothing compared to what the red-headed witch is capable of. She stands and is directly in front of me now.I kinda felt like last night was a little bit of progress when it came to me and her... and in this instant, I am really kicking myself in the head for not waiting to talk to her because I know it is going to knock us back a few spaces.
"There is nothing to talk about Faith."She makes a move to walk around me and toward her closet but I step in front of her.
"Yes... there is B."
"Move Faith," she says it sternly.Like the night before, I look in her eyes and I see something in them... but it is different from the night before and her tone is different too.She is a different person today than she was last night.I wonder what changed in just a few hours.Guess she's always been either hot or cold with me... black or white... there is no gray when it comes to us.
"No."But I am not letting her get away with this.She needs to talk to me... I need to help her and I don't know how if she won't talk to me.She is driving me to the brink of insanity again and I can't take it anymore!I am so busy thinking about all of this that I don't notice the stance she is standing in.It's one I know well... one I have learned by now to avoid at all costs.I am blindsided by that right hook she loves so much and my head snaps to the side.I look back up at her and her face has anger behind it.She's angry... it's the first emotion I've seen her have since she's been back and I think maybe I can use it to my advantage.
"Geez... still got that right hook don't cha?"
"Don't start with me Faith... just get out of my way."
"Make me."I know I am egging her on but I just can't help myself... like I said... fighting with her is like a drug... I don't need it... but my body is addicted to it.The pain it causes me brings me pleasure in some sick, disgusting way. Plus by this point I have totally convinced myself I am using her anger to help her.
"Move."She says it again with that conviction in her voice and I am pretty sure this is going to end how most of our conversations ended before I went to prison.This is going to be a full blown fight... right here in her bedroom.I stand my ground and I don't move, but I do throw a smirk on my face just for good measure.Before I know it, another right hook hits me square on the lip and blood is trickling down my chin.
"Is this how you want it?"For a brief second I swear I see a glimmer in her eye... something that is telling me to `bring it on' in a sense and it totally turns me on... but the glimmer is gone just as quickly as I thought it was there.I don't hesitate any longer.I swing my legs around and she is down on the floor.Before you know it we are both putting all our strength into it.She is getting in a lot of punches and blows to my face and I am doing my best to block them.I am getting a couple of shots in there but she is basically pummeling me... and I am letting her.I am not afraid to admit that she's the better slayer... always has been.If I get a shot in, I know it's a lucky one, she's that good.I know that my face is covered in blood and she is on top of me, hitting, scratching and screaming... what, I have no idea... as I am on the ground.I hear footsteps pounding on the ground and B's bedroom door goes flying open.Xander is at B in an instant and holding onto her by the waist.She is fighting him a little... but she knows that if she fights too hard... she will hurt him and no matter how pissed she is... she would never hurt the boy.D and T are at my side in a second and Red is standing at the door with G, both of them with their hands covering their mouths.
"What the hell happened?"Xander asks as B calms in his arms.He is still holding tight to her and G heads over to help calm her when he gets that look from XMan.The one that says... fix this.
"Faith... oh my God!Look at your face!" T says as she tries to sit me up with Dawnie's help.I struggle as they pull me upright.
"I'm fine," I say, spitting out a little bit of blood as I say it.I glance over at B who only has one little cut on her lip where I got a good hit in.Dawn and Tara steady me as I stand and Red takes over for Dawn to help me to the bathroom.As we leave the room I have a smile on my face... and I can hear G giving B the third degree about the fight.She may have beaten me to a bloody pulp... but that's how we've always communicated... and any communication is better than the nothing she's been giving us since she's been back.
Chapter Four
"Faith... what happened in there?" Red asks as she finishes up wiping the blood off of my lip in the bathroom and takes a seat on the closed toilet. She is staring at me intently, waiting for an answer from me and T is just standing by the closed door.